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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
7:22 am - Ahhh bored again
Hello well my new sn. I though since that name was getting older i would change it to somthing new. Well anyways i ma in class bored out of my mind and it sucks. Well i hvae been very bust latley too ahh. I have been really bored to at teh same time.

At home its okay trying to get used to not sleeping anymore the cats fight all thte time and it is soo anoying.

Well talking to Jon at teh same time i am soo talented. ANd doing work too. Thats even more boring. Anyways i have cheering practice tonight from 2:30-4:30 fun fun fun. And i ahve it now friday too. That i didn't know eihter. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

Well now i ma suffen the net for cheat codes that i can't get because bess has bloked everything AHHHH. Well kevin got them of fhte net for me though Kevin is cool.

current mood: hungry
current music: cky- 96 bitter beings

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7:22 am
Hey everyone i have a new journal sn that i am now using add me to your list if you want me there okay okay cky_gurl63

ttfn

Emily

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Monday, November 29th, 2004
7:45 am
I hate computers! Technolgy Sucks!!!!!!
Well i am soo bored in class and i ahve nothing to do. I finished me works and i can't sleep i couldn't sleep durinf study hall it sucked. My sister moved in its not bad yet but it has on;y been a few days. i have't gotten any sleep yet though and i hate that i have been soo tired and i my hand hurts sarahs stupid cat i gonna kill that stupid Kitty.

Well i have to go right now i ahve cheer latas too. I don't wanna go i want to go home and sleep but can't happen. bye byes

*~Emmie~*

current mood: tired
current music: Blink182- I miss You

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Thursday, November 18th, 2004
6:54 am - WOW i don't ahve a title
WOW I am soo bored right now I don’t think I can stand myself. Well starting yesterday I been going back out with Jesse he is soo sweet to me and I love him soo much!!! I am so glad we are back together again. I feel bad thought I think I have been ditching AJ, but I don’t know I think I have been. And I am sorry AJ if you read this I love you girl ur my special AJ. Any ways things are starting to cool down at home but my sister is supposed to be moving in by next week: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am going to die. I am like going crazy and I think I am going NUTS!!! Well I might to to Alyssa’s dads this weekend I have to ask my mom and I might I haven’t talked to her yet but I might go to Sam’s if she isn’t busy with Jazzmin or something. (Not sounding rude) Then I am going to my brother Brian’s for thanksgiving and I hope it works out and it is in Bangor. I guess it could be fun I get away from my sister for a day YEAHHHHHHHHHh!!! I am going to need a long vacation after my sister moves in I am going crazy just thinking about it.

Well if you want to be on my friends list just comment okay dokie!
U can comment if you want to anyway though.

Michelle, Sam told me that you thought the red head thing my last entry was you but I swear it wasn’t though ok!!! :)



Pain from the Heart
By Emily Marsters

Why is it so hard to cry?
Why do I feel this way inside?
I want to be in your arms
Holding you tight,
Why didn’t you say goodbye?
Why didn’t you cry?
You said you love me
You kiss me more than once,
You held my hand
Tight and bold,
I wanted to grow old with you,


You made me stop breathing
When you touched my skin,
You made me warm
When I was cold,
Now I am alone
And unknown,
In my cold broken heart.
I need a knight and shiny armor,
To take me away from this pain,
Pain of Love.
And Broken hearts



Jesse my boyfriend

J- Jesse
e- Exciting
s- Sexy
s- Sweet
e- AHH I can’t think of anything!!!!!!

current mood: I love Jesse
current music: Cky- Sara's Mask

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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
7:06 am - WHY WHY WHY
It seems now that everyone one you know or loved is acting different sence they made new friends like one of my best friends her noyfriend broke up wiht her and now he says he hasn't lvoe her ina awhile i am so madd at him. And this guys i not alowed to naem cheated on his girlfriend with some red haired gurl and i don't even like any of them but still its wrong to cheat on your bf or gf. I hate it when that happens.

Well i meet this guy named Kenny when i went to this youth retreat wiht one of my friend from sydney maine. ANd he is really cool and even better my friends HEather says he likes me and now he is coming over to see me i just he came earlier this montha nd i wasn't here. OMG i think i love him he is soo sweet i really want to go out with him. I talked to my moom last night about going out with a 18 or 17 yr old she said she would have to approve of him before anything happened. Which i agrree wiht deeply. SO i hope we can get together sometime. And i hope he calls me soon too or sees me.


HIM Bury me deep inside your heart


let me wake up in your arms, you say it's not alright
let me be so dead and gone, so far away from life
close my eyes, hold me tight
and bury me deep inside your heart

all I ever wanted was you my love
you're all I ever wanted
you, my love

let me never see the sun, never see you smile
let us be so dead and so gone
so far away from life
just close my eyes, hold me tight
and bury me deep inside your heart


CKY Sporadic Movement

vital signs are slow and steady
so attentive still not ready
as I was just about to say
you are the one that's over
I am sporadic movement
you are sporadic movement
hate is turning into hunger
just the guy to pull me under
I am sporadic movement
you are sporadic
I involve you
the energy dissolves you
a transformation

a chemical in the brain is so loud
decision making, turning inside out
what you want nobody else has
a swift injection to contain this spaz

snakes will burrow through my psyche
what it takes to lash a strike and
as I was just about to say
you are the one that's over
I am sporadic movement
you are sporadic movement
hate is turning into hunger
just the guy to pull me under
I am sporadic movement
you are sporadic
I invovle you
the energy dissolves you
a transformation

a chemical in the brain is so loud
decision making, turning inside out
what you want nobody else has
a swift injection to contain this spaz

I am sporadic movement
you are sporadic
a transformation!!!!

current mood: I love Kenny
current music: CKy- Sporatic Movement

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Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
6:38 am - Lost but i will never forget
Hey People!!
WOW i haven't updated in forever.. Well nothing has been going to well here, i hate being home everyday seems like a bad day. I need to get out of this place i need to run away and never come back.. Just in case you are wonder why i am saying this is because my older sister Sarah is moving ina nd i am going to go crazy if i don't get out of that house soon. My mom is treating me like crap and it is ticking me off. and in fact my hole family is treating me like this and i hate it. I don't even exsist in my house i don't even have a home anymore it is a 8ft by 8ft cell wiht no windows to look outside iof my stupid pethtic exsistence.

Anyways i hvae been haveing hard time trusting people becasue i can't even trust myself, i feel so bad i ahve been taking my problems out on everyone and i don't mean too. and i fel so bad for it. Well i love you AJ, Sam , Kara and everyine i mised i love you bye bye

HIM
Right here in my arms

She's smiling like heaven's down on earth
the sun is shining so bright on her
and all her wishes have finally come true
and her heart is weeping
this happiness is killing her


She'll be right here in my arms, so in love
she'll be right here in these arms, she can't let go


so hard she's trying,
but her heart won't turn to stone
she keeps on crying
but I won't leave her alone

CKY Volume 1

With my perceptions in a mix
down 20 miles through the sticks
To the cloudy town of Hellview population 96
Excessive vacancy well maybe
In the shadow of an eye
All the strangers pass through
where the rules just don't apply

At the fork turn left a store,
but on the right stay free from sight
Cause 96 quite bitter beings
like to stack the bodies high
The only way to ever leave is
over flooded by the storm
And entanglement in Hellview
brings you fear in 50 forms
They've deleted all the tourists
at the bottom of the lake
And not one supports the cause
to leave the blood stay in the veins

Here three miles back is where we are
All we ever wanted was an answer
civilized are close but way too far
All we ever wanted was an answer
Footprints giving clue to where we are
All we ever wanted was answer
The civilized are close but way too far
All we ever wanted...

current mood: cold
current music: Him- right here in my arms

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Sunday, September 26th, 2004
3:12 pm - Music is my life, my world, my antio drug

Linkin' Park - Nobody's Listening Lyrics

[Verse 1: Mike Shinoda]
Peep the style and the kids checking for it
The number one question is
How could you ignore it
We drop right back in the cut
Over basement tracks
With raps that got you backing this up like (rewind that)
We're just rolling with the rhythm
Rise from the ashes of stylistic division
With these non-stop lyrics of life living
Not to forgotten
But still unforgiven
But in the meantime there are those who wanna
Talk this and that/ so I suppose
It gets to a point feelings gotta get hurt
And get dirty with the people spreading the dirt

[Chorus: Chester]
Try to give you warning
But everyone ingnores me
(Told you everything loud and clear)
But nobody's listening
Call to you so clearly
But you don't want to hear me
(Told you everything loud and clear)
But nobody's listening

[Verse 2: Mike Shinoda]
 
I got a
Heart full of pain/head full of stress
Handful of anger/held in my chest
And everythings left is a waste of time
I hate my rhymes
(But hate everyone else's more)
I'm riding on the back of this pressure
Guessing that it's better
I can't keep myself together
Because all of this stress
Gave me something to write on
The pain gave me something
I could set my sights on
You never forget the blood, sweat, and tears
The uphill struggle over the years
The fear and trash talking
And the peopleit was to
And the people that started it
Just like you

[Chorus]

I got a
Heart full of pain/head full of stress
Handful of anger/held in my chest
Uphill stuggle/blood, sweat, and tears
Nothing to gain/everything to fear

(scratches)
Coming at you at every style
___________________________________
Linkin Park- Breaking the Habit
Memories concern
Like opening the wound
I?m picking me apart again
You all assume
I?m safer in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don?t want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I?m the one confused

I don?t know what?s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don?t know why I instigate
And say what I don?t mean
I don?t know how I got this way
I know it?s not alright
So I?m breaking the habit
I?m breaking the habit tonight

Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again

I don?t want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I?m the one confused

I don?t know what?s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don?t know why I instigate
And say what I don?t mean
I don?t know how I got this way
I?ll never be alright
So, I?m breaking the habit
I?m breaking the habit tonight

I?ll paint it on the walls
Cuz I?m the one that falls
I?ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don?t know what?s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don?t know how I got this way
I?ll never be alright
So, I?m breaking the habit
I?m breaking the habit
Breaking the habit tonight
_______________________________________-
Linkin PArk- NUMB
I?m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don?t know what you?re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I?ve become so numb I can?t feel you there
I?ve become so tired so much more aware
I?ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can?t you see that you?re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I?ve become so numb I can?t feel you there
I?ve become so tired so much more aware
I?ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I?ve become so numb I can?t feel you there
I?ve become so tired so much more aware
I?ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I?ve become so numb I can?t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I?ve become so numb I can?t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
 
_____________________________________________________-
 
Seether feat Amy Lee- Broken
 
Seether}
I wanted you to know 
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

{Both}
Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

{Seether}
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

{Amy Lee}
The worst is over now 
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away {both- only the
word away}
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight {Both}
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

{Both}
Cause I'm broken when I'm open 
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause Im broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone

{Seether}
You're gone away 
You don't feel me here anymore
____________________________________________________________
 
Smile Empty Soul- Silhouettes
 
silhouettes above the cradle hold me down
they won't let me go the wrong way
my mother taught me all the fables, told me how
in the end all the sinners have to pay 
but...

[Chorus:]
i don't wanna live like my mother
i don't wanna let fear rule my life
and i don't wanna live like my father
i don't wanna give up before i die

he worked so hard his bones are breaking
he wore them down but long ago he lost the feeling
his good intentions leave me shaking, show me how
i don't ever want to end up like he did
and...

[Chorus]

when i have kids
i won't put any chains on their wrists, i won't
i'll tell them this
there's nothing in this world that you can't be if you want it
enough

[Chorus x2]
 
 
 
All of these have a special meaning in my life tha is special to me from
 linkin park to Seether and Smile Empty soul
to help me get though every day of my life. 
 
 
THANK THE WORLD FOR MUSIC I WOULDN"T BE LIVING WITHOUT IT>
 


current mood: depressed
current music: READ the lyrics

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Saturday, September 25th, 2004
11:37 am - Alone and hiding
I hate love. Love sucks

current mood: I dont wanto love him but i do
current music: Broken- Amy Lee and Seether

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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
12:23 pm
Your icon is....... by beautiful1
Full Name
Age
Favorite Color
Your icon is....
Quiz created with MemeGen!


current mood: weird

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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
2:30 pm - somtin more kool
Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...breath taking
Your hugs are...to die for
Your eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...the only thing I desire
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...encouraging
Your love is...everlasting
Quiz created with MemeGen!


current mood: blank
current music: i hate some people

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2:26 pm - cool stuff isn't it
Your Icon... by LostWithOutYou
Name/Username
Age
Favorite Color
Random Word
You
Quiz created with MemeGen!


current mood: pissed off
current music: Sam is really fricken wierd

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
10:56 pm - cool stuff
Take the quiz: "Which faerie are you?"

Earth faeire
You are an earth faerie! The Earth Faeries live in the forests of the land, making their homes between the branches of the tallest trees. They love to collect and store items, and try and hide themselves from the creatures far, far below. Not that you don't want attention, you do, but you like to play games. You are caring and loyal to all your friends. You are the one they all turn to for advice, and whether you know what you are talking about or not, you always have a sympathetic ear and try your best to help.

current mood: high
current music: i feel stoned but im not a stoner

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Friday, August 6th, 2004
10:48 pm - umm umm GOOD
well today was sam's nanas memorial service it was sad but sama dn her mom and dad were really happy i was there to sorport her though it. She had to sing and she sang very beauitfullly!

Now i am talkin to Joey he is soo auesome llike my best friend of guys and he has been there for me and he is like now family its great!!! i want to cvall him bro becasue he is like that to me!

Man when i look back on things everyone has changed friends have broken up channa and alyssa i though those 2 were gona be friends 4 life then what happen i still don't know but i love them both and i hope i could talk to one of them somtime i really them.
Well by ye

current mood: flirty
current music: jay z- brush ur shoulders off

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
4:44 pm - hi ya bye ya
Hi ya all this might be my last entry for a whioe becaus ei lost my internet at home so it will be hard to do stuff without internet.
i had to do this:
Friends:
Sam D
Trystol
AJ
T-sha
Heather G
Mike P- I love u more than friend u know that
Elton
Louis
Joey
Nicole
Simone
Sarah
JOn
and all kinds of peps i love u guys u mean so much to me u don't understand how much.

Have fun for the rest of the summa luv ya bye bye

*~Emmie~*

current mood: cheerful
current music: Kid Rock- Cowboy BABY

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Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
6:08 pm - i am bakkk
Hey everyones i am bak but i am at a friends house so whats ya all up too notin much here thou.
What i have done over the summer so far.umm... well i dyed me hair BLACK ohh yea and i have sort off turn tom boy/ punk but not sure yet what to call myself anymore to some people i am a slut but to others i am way from that but i know who thinks i am that and know what they can go to hell where they belong.

Anyways i haven't heard from mike since graduation thats was a while ago.
Umm i been trying to hang with sammi poo it has been hard though cause of how her grammie has been though i feel so bad my gurl i love her as a friend and i hope she feels alot better about everything soon.
I LOVE MIKE SOO MUCH BUT IT IS SO HARD TRYING TO BE WITH HIM i can't talk to him becasue his mom doesn't like me and i don't want him to get tinto trouble becasue of me. I wish i could be wiht him everyday. I JUST HOPE HE LOVES ME BAK.
i got my nails done so i can't type worth crap.

well g2g bye bye
*~Emmie~*

current mood: i miss everyone
current music: smile empty soul- silhouettes

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Thursday, April 29th, 2004
12:51 pm - My name
I found this on alyssa's journal its aueosme but there are different letter to spell your anem try it! Its fun
E- You are a very exciting person
M- Success comes easily to you
I- You are always smiling and makeing others smile
L- Love is something you deeply believe in
Y- You casue alot of trouble

A- You can be very quite when you have something on your mind
N- You like to work but always wanna break
N- You like to work but always wanna break

M- Success comes easily to you
A- You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind
R- You are a social butterfly
S- You are very broad-minded
T- You have a attitude, a big one
E- You are a very exciting person
R- You are a social butterfly
S- You are very broad-minded

it very cool huh

current mood: accomplished
current music: sound of people loggin off and on yahoo messanger and aim

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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
9:33 am - to bored to so anything
i don't feel like writing anything

current mood: bouncy
current music: Nickelback- Too Bad

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Monday, April 26th, 2004
2:29 pm - HAPPY
Well there us a new guy in our grade he is pretty cute tho. But peps say he is a cocky and mean but most people are on there first day thye don'tknow anyone.

Anyways i just got home from a doctors appointment and i guess i don't have anymore doctors appointemt and therepy is out of my life untill i get hurt again hehe. Well i can't wait untill this weekend i get to c my dad and hopefully i get to go ot the portland mall and go to hot topic i found some really cool pants there ther sweet.

current mood: crazy
current music: Outkast - Roses

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Sunday, April 25th, 2004
4:37 pm - Why is life like this
ME and ron broke up after almost 4 days this suxs. He said we broke up becasue we haven't seen eachother. It ok i saw it comin anywayz. I guess i was ment ot be alone, my friends told me u know when people can tell future by ur lines on ur hands i don't have a marrige line or life line or not a long one. SO what is the point anyway i am better off anyway skrew it skrew it all. I give up on love love not for its all ok for me i don't care!

current mood: LOVE SUCKS
current music: Usher- BURN

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Friday, April 23rd, 2004
7:31 am
mood n'stuff

current mood: confused
current music: Usher, little jon, ludacris- Yeah Yeah Yeah

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